Sexuality; How Do I Define Myself?

Sexuality is a funny word, I always classified myself as bisexual, that was until my discovery of the sexuality entitled androphilia, which means that I am attracted to masculinity. I previously put myself into the 'bisexual' category because I liked girls as well as boys, but all of those girls had a masculine edge, Katherine Moennig for example,her androgyny exudes sexuality, love her;

Although when I say masculinity I don't mean a body like this;

To me that isn't what masculinity is. To me masculinity looks more like this;

Intelligence to me is incredibly sexy, there's something about someone who can tell me useless facts all day that just turns me on!

Which brings me swiftly to the other half of my sexuality classification, sapiosexual.
One who finds intelligence the most attractive feature.
So to conclude I am a 'mash-up' (if you will) of sapiosexual, and an androphiliac.

Just to clear that all up.

Tips for Staying Conscious in the Shower

Tips for an unconscious free shower, and coincidentally an eco-friendly one:
1.Make sure you've eaten enough before you commence your hot shower.
2.Turn on the water as hot as you like it, then turn the temperature down a tad.
3.Don't get distracted by; playing with hair on the shower wall, creating interesting hairstyles with your shampooed hair; masturbation. These are all time wasters.

It's not that easy being green, as the Muppets once suggested.
I've always been an avid supporter of the there's nothing that a hot shower/bath can't cure, that was until last night, I was feeling pretty tired (despite the total of around 14 hours sleep the previous night) so I thought, this is something a nice long, hot shower will sort out. At first I could feel the relaxation washing over me, lovely. After a while the water was too hot and became nauseating, then came the black spots obscuring my vision. Bloody great. So I got out fairly sharpish and lay on the bathroom floor for 5 minutes to recover. What a hassle, so then I was back to feeling shitty. Brilliant.

On Monday I was in the local pub, with my sister, Louise and my Dad. I (when I say 'I' I mean my Dad) recently bought a Superdry jumper, nice and snug for the winter. It seems that now I own this jumper, everyone in my town has it too. Perhaps they did before and I've failed to notice, but every bugger has one! Including a fellow who I shall refer to here as Druggie Teacher, as his nickname suggests, he teaches secondary school children, often confiscates their drugs and makes use of them himself. How he's passed any background checks I don't know, so anyway he has the very same jumper and for some reason now feels as though we have some kind of affinity. I should explain he's around my Father's age, so old, well far too old for me anyway. While my Dad and Louise were in the little beer garden having a cigarette, he seized his opportunity to come and make his move. As you do when you have nobody to talk to, you don't talk, so I'm staring into space as usual, lost in my thoughts when I hear a quiet mumbling voice to the left of me,
"You're an observer and a thinker aren't you?"
Suddenly the garish carpet becomes my main point of interest, I noticed that the flame sitting in a torch looks a little like some sort of evil monster. I look up and his expectant face is looming. Thank goodness my Dad saw his advances and came to rescue me, I think he had a word with him a little later on, basically telling him to back off because I'm relatively young, far too young for him in any case.

I did a bit of shopping today, finishing college at 11, and not wanting to take the mick with a friend who always gives me lifts on Wednesday mornings, I decided to get a bus to the shopping centre. I'm not the biggest fan of public transport, mainly because I am a paranoid parrot all the time. But buses, buses are the worst, the motion makes me feel ill, and the likelihood of sitting next to a smelly stranger is very high. I was lucky enough not to have to endure someone's putrid smell, but I'm around 90% sure I was sitting next to a potential serial killer. His eyes did not move from the one spot they were glued on, a guy sat in front of Mr. Serial Killer and the Venetian blinds he had in tow slipped under the seat and hit Mr. Serial Killer's foot, Venetian blinds turned around, apologised. Mr. Serial Killer, eyes still unmoving says,
"That's. Oh. Kay."
I was in fear for my life as well as Venetian blinds'.

On arrival I head to Primark, cheap and cheerful; I need to do some underwear shopping. I didn't go overboard but I bought three pairs of knickers and one lovely bra. £10.30 all together please. Not bad at all, I thought. I hate going underwear shopping, people can see the kind of undies you wear because you're carrying them around the shop! Perhaps if I wore more provocative underclothes I might be more eager to show them off to the other customers, but what I purchased was modest, no sexy thongs for me, I'm inclined to buy French knickers when I'm feeling a little adventurous.

Then I have nothing else I particularly need, so pleasure shopping it is. The first place I go? You guessed it, Waterstone's. I bought two books, Grave Peril by Jim Butcher and Naked Lunch by William Burroughs. The Butcher novel was only £2.99! So I thought why the heck not? Plus I've read three of the other Dresden Files books, I love them. About a wizard named Harry Dresden, who works in Chicago as the only Wizard P.I. It's funny, serious, and there's a love story thrown in. I've liked all the ones I've read so far and for £3 it's a bargain. As for the Burroughs novel, I've heard a lot about it, and wanted to watch the film a while back so I went for it £9.99, but hopefully worth it.
As well as the points card I've got with Waterstone's I received a loyalty card, one of those on which you get stamped for every purchase. There's a quote on it which I am in love with;

I know every book of mine by its smell, and I have but to put my nose between the pages to be reminded of all sorts of things.
-George Robert Gissing.

I like his last name, it sounds like kissing.

Awkward, Cringeworthy Intro Post

Here comes the clichéd introductory entry, I hate these things so I'll make this little bit as brief as possible.

Hello, I'm Esther (pseudonym obviously) I'm in my late teenage years and in education. I am a literature fanatic, so don't be shocked at the amount I talk about books. If you're one of those who think reading is boring, or for sad people with no lives, you can just leave now, I can guarantee that you'll be bored to within an inch of your life here.
I was inspired to write an anonymous blog by the fantastic Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl.
Something that probably says a lot about me, is that it took me twenty minutes to decide which font to use for this blog. In the end I settled on Bentham, but I'm now unsure whether I like the way that the letter S is bigger than the other letters even in lowercase. So you can probably expect a font change at some point in the near future.
I think that should be enough for now, you'll learn more about me as you read each entry from here on in, so strap in and get ready! (I can promise you my life is not that interesting that you need to strap in, it just sounded good)

So today, well would you be shocked if I told you I slept in until 3pm. Well, I did so you can pick up your jaw from the floor now. I was supposed to be going to college today, it being Tuesday and all. But I woke up this morning at 7am, planned to shower and be prepared for the half past 8 departure, little did I know last night that I would be so tired at 7am I wouldn't even have the energy to roll out of bed and fall to the floor. So I set my alarm to 8am, then thought fuck it and called in sick. Half an hour is not nearly enough time for a shower, plus getting ready, and a morning coffee. So I crawled back into my pit, and slept for another seven hours. That is a long time isn't it, bloody hell. I sleep a lot, but sometimes I don't sleep at all, so forgive me.

I've only been awake for an hour and a half, so needless to say I haven't accomplished much as of yet. A strong coffee being the extent of my productivity. I plan to (and we all know how that ended last time) get some more of my book written today, perhaps another chapter or two. I'm a slow writer, it's taken me a very long time to write two decent chapters, which I'm still not satisfied with might I add. I've got plans for it though, and hopefully I can get the ball rolling a bit quicker now. I also need to finish The Notebook, I'm enjoying it so far, although I am only 47 pages in, but it's good nonetheless.

I've also got a bit of Psychology work to do, nothing major just a bit of reading, which you know I don't mind at all. Then I will probably spend the rest of the evening having the shower that I neglected this morning and getting stuck in to my untitled masterpiece (ha!).